


Dislocated

by LoveLaniLane



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Car Accidents, Character Death, Crying, Death, Driving, I'm Sorry, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Victor Salazar is Sorry, What Have I Done, no really i'm crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25097332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveLaniLane/pseuds/LoveLaniLane
Summary: “I know that you might be feeling a bit uneasy… but you’re going to be fine. Trust me…”Benji drives for the first time since his license has been suspended. He's not ready, but he can't avoid being behind the wheel forever.
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Dislocated

**Author's Note:**

> This work does include MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH so please if you are not comfortable with DEATH, CAR ACCIDENTS, or THOUGHTS OF DEATH, DO NOT READ. 
> 
> Title from: song- Fear of the Water by SYML

“You’re driving.”

Benji heard the words and felt the heavy weight of a set of car keys dropping onto his open palm. A gut wrenching feeling filled the entirety of his body as his eyes glanced from the keys up to his boyfriend who had passed them to him. Victor had just opened the passenger door and was about to step in when Benji interrupted the moment.

“No, you should drive.” The keys were chucked back to Victor. 

The Colombian-Puerto Rican teen released a chuckle. “You know your suspension has been lifted? Don’t you want to cruise in on the driver’s side with the windows rolled down, wind blowing through your hair?” 

“I’m in no rush.”

“Get in the driver’s seat, Ben.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why?” 

“I haven’t been behind in the driver’s seat of a car in a year. I’d—rather—wait,” Benji forced out his words. Victor came around from his standing position and approached the nervous boy. “I’d feel better if, you know, there were less people on the road… and it was broad daylight… and _not_ a Friday night.”

“‘There’s no better time than the present’, isn’t that the saying?” Victor returned the car keys back to Benji. “I know that you might be feeling a bit uneasy… but you’re going to be fine. Trust me…” 

Jittery feelings were filling up every atom in Benji’s body. He could feel his blood pulsing against his wrists, neck, and chest. His inhales seem cut off midway, not participating to calm Benji down as he was trying to do. His gut was doing back flips, but even with the feeling, he tightened his grip of the item in his hand and took the steps needed to get behind the wheel for the first time in over 365 days. 

Although every motion was familiar, there was also unfamiliarity. 

The seat was adjusted. 

The key was inserted. 

The mirrors were fixed to his view. 

But even with all that work, Benji didn’t change the gears to move. 

Victor eyed the still Benji. “You good?”

“Yeah…” Benji wasn’t good. The pit of his stomach was acting up and he wasn’t sure if it was because of this moment or for something else. 

“Well, take all the time you need. We still have thirty minutes until curfew.”

Victor was right. Victor was meant to be home by ten o’clock and it was just a few minutes before 9:30 p.m. It took twenty minutes to get to Benji’s house where they would drop him off first, then Victor would drive the ten minutes back home from Benji’s place. Sitting in the car was wasting the minutes they needed for their goodbye. Benji didn’t want Victor getting grounded because he didn’t get home on time. 

The car shifted from Park to Reverse, then to Drive. 

The car was quiet. No words were exchanged between Victor and Benji for the first few minutes of the drive. The only audible sounds were the humming of the engine and the heavy, shaky breathing from Benji. 

Victor inspected Benji’s tense posture. Both hands were gripping tightly on the steering wheel at ten and two. His shoulders hunched forward and his eyes were fixated only on the road in front of him. 

“How are you feeling?” Victor spoke aloud. 

Benji blinked. He moved his head in Victor’s direction but his eyes did not take itself off of the dark road. “I’m good.”

“Good,” Victor replied. He leaned back in his seat and tilted his head to the side. Victor peeped over to the radio and clicked it on. Soft tunes played through the speakers of the car, the hispanic skipped through the stations until he stopped on one that was playing a song that he was familiar with.

Benji’s sight remained steady on the view in front of him. The radio was a distraction.

Victor released a breath through his nose and rested his hand over the gear, wiggling his fingers as an invite to his boyfriend. Benji caught the motion from his peripheral vision. 

Distraction.

“I should keep both hands on the wheel.” 

Victor pulled back his reach. “Of course.”

It returned quiet again. 

Benji’s body was focused on driving, but his mind was further from it. 

_He remembered that night…_

_The night he almost lost his life—_

_lost himself._

_He remembered the tingling feeling of the alcohol in his veins—_

_—how hot his ears were—_

_—how tight his skin felt—_

_There was the sick taste of what was soon to come up later that night—_

_lodged in his throat._

_He remembered when his final destination grew close to view—_

_Red._

_He saw red—_

_approaching fast._

_Red._

_Red._

_Red—_

_Red—_

_Red—_

“RED LIGHT! RED LIGHT!”

The world struck white for a few seconds. The soft play of music was cut midplay, and everything seemed to mold around them as time sped up and slowed down simultaneously. 

Victor was clutching onto his seat, his fingers were engraving its prints onto its side. The only thing he could see was darkness, but that was due to his eyes being screwed tight from the strike of fear he had just experienced. Victor didn’t even know what happened, couldn’t even comprehend what he had just gone through…

...what _they_ had just gone through…

_Benji._

“Benji…?” Victor croaked out, his throat feeling like sandpaper grating against each other. He took a quick second to check his body. There was pressure on his legs, and his chest suffered from a sort of tightness. There was a burning sensation on the left side of his head and down his arm he couldn’t identify the reason for. He turned his head to where Benji was only to see his boyfriend leaning back on his seat, his neck cranked in the opposite direction at an odd angle. “Ben…?” 

The click of Victor’s seatbelt sounded during its release, and the strain against Victor’s upper body unraveled itself. The boy took his first step out of the car just to realize how weak his body actually was at the moment. Victor used the car to keep himself stable. 

It was completely totaled. The front of the car was wrecked to a point of no way of fixing, and it was even worse when Victor maneuvered his way to the driver’s side. 

The door had a concave shaped appearance, the indent of the other vehicle ingrained on it. The window was busted completely, covering the street underneath. The white airbag was deployed and deflated, a pattern of a carmine colored substance spotted all over it. 

“Benji!” 

An abundance amount of adrenaline flooded Victor’s body at the horror sight in front of him. Although the door’s odd new shape seemed to have a strong hold against the lock, Victor was successfully able to pry it open after several pulls to reach Benji inside. Victor used his arm to swipe the broken glass off of Benji’s clothing, not feeling the jabs and prickling it inflicted on him.

“Benji! Hey, Benji? Are you with me? You’re alright. You’re going to be alright.” 

Victor placed his head upon Benji’s chest and he could hear a rapid heartbeat, which caused an unsteady breath out of Victor’s body. There was a strong and fast heartbeat coming from Benji. It was beating at the exact same pace and strength as Victor’s… almost identical… But this beating pulse had to belong to Benji… It had to be.

“Stay with me, Ben. Just stay with me… and we’ll be alright…” 

Victor’s lip quivered as he forced himself off of his boyfriend’s body. Looking at Benji, Victor noticed that his hazel eyes didn’t hold any light. His mouth was gaped open slightly, but no air escaped through. There was red crimson liquid slipping down his temple, tainting his white skin. 

The tears started to well up and the sobs started to make his way out, rattling his body as they did. Victor screamed in pain, his legs finally giving out from under him and he fell against the driver-side door. 

He wanted to die. He wanted to die so bad; he wished for something, maybe a second car, to come out and just strike him there on the pavement. They should have taken him—not Benji, his boyfriend, the love of his life. Victor was on the floor, letting his screams rattle the entirety of his body. This was his fault. This was all his fault. His boyfriend was gone because of him… 

Victor hated how he was breathing heavily while his boyfriend carried no breath at all.

It physically hurt to breathe the air of a world that no longer had Benjamin Campbell in it. 

Even through his loud cries, Victor was able to repeat the only thing that was running through his head, 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Benji. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” 


End file.
